Are You Afraid ?
by June44
Summary: Hermione will meet a change in her life. It's up to her to embrace it or not. SBHG fic. will be M rated, I hope. First fic, so please review it. I'll only continue it if I get reviews and, of course, anyone like it. I really suck at summaries, so...
1. Chapter 1

_(Well, like I said before on the summary, it's my first fic. But I want to read what you really think about it. Please tell me if the conversations are too long, if you think the story is too common or something. I will only continue if I get reviews... and, of course, if someone likes it. Also, forgive the spelling and grammar errors... __I'm good in english but not perfect. :D Thanks, Ju.)_

"Ouch!"

"Careful there, darling."

"I'm Okay."

"Sure you are..."

Hermione was groping in the dark to find at least a wall when she hit her foot hard on the bedpost. It was going worse than she expected. Finally, she found her dress and her shoes and was out the door without even saying a word to that unknown guy she had just slept with. Yeah, it was going far worse than she expected.

She was now twenty seven and had not even a clue of a relationship at sight. Of course, as everyone kept pointing out incesantly, she had changed – a lot – in these ten years since school. From the shy best-friend-of-the-chosen-one girl, she had become a confident head-of-the-Department-Of-Magical-Law-Enforcement woman. Sure she still kept in touch with Harry, but not so much with Ron.

Arriving home, Hermione thought that maybe it was about time she stopped going out all night and going home with some guy almost every time. Not that she was a "whore" or anything. She chose rather well who she went home with, she just didn't know much about the guy before going home with him. Like there is a difference, she told herself. Taking a shower, she started to remember, as it always happened after a night out, about these glorious five years after the last year at Hogwarts and after the war was over. It was the happiest time of her life and she was sure it was also great for her long-almost-forgotten friends. She dated Ron for that period and it all started to fall down after they broke up. They thought they could handle the friendship after it was all over but it just didn't happen. Their relationship ended because of, suprisingly, Ron's jealousy. He was quite an easy-going guy in the beggining but, as Hermione got more beautiful, the jealous part of Ron surfaced. She couldn't talk to anyone and he would get agressive. Hermione didn't care much, really. Until it got ugly...

"What were you talking to him?"

"I don't know... We were just catching up."

"Catching what up? You didn't even talk to him back at school!", Ron said, starting to feel his ears burning and getting red. He didn't exactly know why he got so worked up over these little things... he just did.

"Come on, Ron... He just got engaged and he was telling me about it and- "

"Oh, he got engaged?! Big deal! Since when does that stop someone from flirting with a beautiful girl?"

"Ron, for God's sake, he wasn't flirting with me!"

"No? Than why was he touching your hair like that?"

"He noticed that my hair was different that it was back at school... Honestly, you're being ridiculous!"

"I'm being ridiculous?? Ask Harry if he could let any guy keep touching Ginny's hair... Just ask him!"

"I'm not going to ask him that!"

"Why not? Are you affraid of what he might answer? I'm so sick of you winding guys up like that!"

"Where did you get the idea that I'm winding guys up? You're so bloody ridiculous, Ron!" , Hermione said, starting to loose her grip.

"Shut up! Quit calling me ridiculous! You're the ridiculous one that can't settle down with only me. You can be such a slut sometimes." – Ron finished with an angry and defying look in his eyes.

SLAP! Without even thinking straight, Hermione slapped Ron like she had never slapped anyone before. She was shocked but relieved at the same time. She was longing to do that for quite some time.

"I can't believe you just slapped me!"

"You deserved it! Don't ever call me a slut again!". And she stormed out of the bar leaving Ron with an angry face and a lot of heads turning. As it turns out, Ron was having an affair. She found out when she was coming home one night and she heard a strange noise coming from upstairs. Then, as she was going up the stairs, she heard a giggle... a woman's giggle. And as she opened the door, she found Ron on top of some girl... And the rest is all a blur in her head. At the thought of that memory, she slammed the bathroom door with all her power, making a bruise in her hand. It had been five years, but is still hurt to know she was cheated on. As Harry told her afterwards when she asked him, as Ron was having an affair he, in his twisted little mind (as Hermione pointed out to herself later), thought that she would be having one too. That's why he was so aggressively jealous.

Hermione got off the shower and got dressed. Her head and her hand still hurting like hell, but she didn't have the time to make a hangover potion or heal it... she had to go to work.

"Going out in the middle of the week... Very wise of me!", she said to herself as she was locking the apartment door.

When she got to the Ministry, she noticed something: she hadn't seen Harry for months now... And that really chocked her. When she started working there, she saw Harry almost everyday, as he was an Auror. And now, it had been so long since she saw him for the last time. She thought about asking Ginny, who she hadn't seen in a while either, but they at least wrote letters to each other, every once in a while.

She took the elevator and as it stopped at the floor of the Department of Mysteries, that night in their fifth year came back to her like it hadn't in years. She was really nostalgic today, she thought to herself. She started thinking about everything they had been through, every room in that department, every jinx and curse she had to scape from... And then, Hermione thought about Sirius. They never really came to know what was that veil. Where did Sirius really go? She sure missed him, although they weren't very close... But it never stopped her from looking up to him. She remembered, like it was just the other day, the look is his face when he saw Harry for the first time in months, when he was on the run. Sirius looked so full of life, even though he had been trapped in a room in the Black's house for so long. His dark eyes felt so hopeful, so loving... God, she thought to herself, she was _too_ nostalgic today.

"Maybe I should found Harry and talk to him...", she said out loud, receiving a scared look from a little old witch who was in the elevator.

She arrived at the office and began working like she always did, but she couldn't get Harry and Sirius out of her head. It was very weird because he hadn't thought about Harry in months and she hadn't thought about Sirius in years.

As the day went by, she made arrangements with some girl in the office to go out that night.

"Are you sure you wanna party tonight? You look so tired!", Kate said, some girl she never really paid attention to.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just want to get my mind off of things."

"Some people told me you really took your mind off of things last night with some guy...", the girl said with a suspicious grin in her face.

"How do you people know so much around here?", Hermione said, starting to get nervous.

"Calm down! Some people were in the same club you were at and they told me. That's it!", but the last words were said to the back of Hermione's head as she walked away.

So she got out that night, even though something was telling her she shouldn't. However, she decided to ignore everything that wasn't alcohol that night.

When she got home, around three am, drunk but alone, she found a note glued to the door:

_"Hermione, _

_I came to surprise you tonight but you weren't home. You'll never guess who I brought to see you. Unfortunately, I guess we'll have to see you another day, right? Owl me, please. _

_Harry"_

She read the "You'll never guess who I brought to see you" part a thousand times... Even drunk and almost unconscious, she thought that is was really strange...

"It cannot be who I think it is... It's just impossible!", she said to herself for the fifth time, stripping off her black dress and putting on comfortable pants and a shirt. As she lay on the bed, the last thing she thought about in her alcohol clouded mind before blacking out, was Sirius.


	2. Chapter 2

_(So, another chapter... Is it any good? Please tell me if you think I'm taking too long to get to THE point. I'm taking my time, but it's my first fic, so I will take all suggestions and critics. Thanks so much to the people that reviewed! I didn't think I was going to get reviews, you know... But, there you go! I really hope you like it. Thank you, Ju. :D)_

Hermione woke up to a terrible headache, _again_, as her conscience mentioned. She had a weird dream about notes at the door, fire whiskey, Harry and... Sirius. It wasn't a bloody dream, she thought, using a language she didn't normally use. She looked at the watch still on her wrist and saw that it was seven o'clock yet. It was saturday, so she didn't have to go to the Ministry. As she thought of that, she sighed out of relief. Obviously, she loved her job and was really dedicated to it, even too dedicated, but her mind was spinning... not only because of the massive amount of fire whiskey she had the night before, but also because of that note that, from a non-paranoid and non-Hermione-_d_ point of view was normal and even cheerful seen she didn't talk to Harry in a lot of time, but to her it was like the most confusing words she had ever read.

After she took a shower, she thought it was time for her to write Harry. She had been pretty negligent towards him, not writing him and forgetting about what might have happened to him in all this time. And, of course, she was really curious to see who was that person Harry wanted to show her. She didn't think she might be able to sleep another night thinking it could be Sirius. Sure it was crazy and sure she didn't believe that, just because she remembered him after a lot of time, it meant it was him. But, without even noticing it, she was hopeful. It was kind of the perfect timing. It would surely bring everyone a little closer. At least she thought it would. So she picked up a quill and started writing:

_"Dear Harry,_

_ I'm sorry I wasn't home when you came to see me. I'm home now, and I'm planning to be for the rest of the weekend so, if you want to drop by and bring that surprise again, I'll be happy to see you after such a long time. I've been thinking about you a lot these days._

_ Waiting you, Hermione."_

"It looks so formal...", she said in a lower voice with such sadness in it. She missed the time they talked freely with each other.

So she knocked in Ginny's apartment, one floor above her own. It was kind of crazy, she thought, to be in touch with Ginny and never talk to her brother. Of course, the circumstances were weird but, after all they went through together, everyone would think they'd keep in touch even after a hard break up. Hermione didn't even hung out with Ginny that much anymore because she was still in training to be an Auror, like her brother, so she had to study hard. Ginny didn't even went out anymore. Not that Hermione would know about, anyways.

As Ginny answered the door after a few knocks, with an angry and swollen face, Hermione remembered it was still eight o'clock... in a saturday.

"Oh, Ginny, good morning. I'm so sorry to wake you up. I forgot it was saturday and-"

"Oh, stop babbling, I'm already up anyway... Come on in." Hermione stepped into Ginny's apartment that felt just like her own, with all that books fallen on the floor, the dirty tea mugs she clearly didn't have time to wash and that smell of study and fresh paper Hermione liked so much. "So, already up? I was studying last night and I heard you coming in really late... Brought any company home again?", Ginny said with a smirk and a sarcastic touch to her voice.

"No, I didn't. And you really should stop listening to the sounds of my apartment, you know?", Hermione said, not nervous but thinking about the noise she must have made when she got home, slightly drunk. "Can I borrow your owl?"

"Sure, go ahead... Who is this letter to?"

"It's to Harry...", and she stopped talking. Noticing that Ginny looked away, she remembered that they didn't end in good terms either. They had split up before Hermione and Ron and they could still be in the same room together without feeling extremely uncomfortable but Ginny wanted to talk about Harry as much as Hermione wanted to talk about Ron.

"Er... Thanks, Ginny. You can go back to your sleep.", she said after sending the owl. Ginny still wasn't looking at her. "I'll come back later... Maybe we could have lunch?"

"All right... I'll talk to you later, then...", and disappeared to her room without really looking at Hermione properly.

Hermione was already working at some papers in her living room for three hours when an owl tapped at the window. She went to get the letter and saw it was already from Harry. "That was quick", she thought. Harry was still living at Grimmauld Place and it was pretty far from where she lived. "He must have been in a hurry to answer..." When she opened, she read the letter:

_"Dear Hermione,_

_As much as I'm really looking forward to see you and to get a look at your apartment, I wanted to invite you to come have dinner here at Grimmauld Place instead. It would be only you, me and the surprise. He says he can't wait to see you again. Everyone has already seen him. I don't know how anyone hadn't told you yet. Please, come. We'll be expecting you at eight o'clock._

_Harry"_

"He? So it is a he?", she almost screamed, getting alarmed. What if it really was Sirius? "I don't even know why I'm getting this worked up over something I don't even know for sure. This is sooo not like me." she said, to try and calm herself down.

So she went to lunch with Ginny and enjoyed catching up with her after so much time without talking properly. She missed gossiping like teenagers, talking about guys and making comments about other women. She didn't like it so much when she could do it everyday but now that it was rare the times when she could have that much fun with an old friend, she appreciated.

She got home around six o'clock and panicked. What was she going to wear? What if it really _was _Sirius? It's had been twelve years since he fell into the veil, she didn't want him to see her poorly dressed. But why? Why did she want to impress him? Not that she ever thought about him like that but, he would be twelve years older. But what if... And she stopped from her pacing around in the room. "What am I thinking?", she almost yelled at herself. "I don't even know if it's him and I'm all getting my hopes up for-" and she stopped talking. "What's bloody wrong with me?", she said, using again a language she wasn't used to. "Sure he was handsome... but this is Sirius! _Sirius!", _she felt like slapping herself to wake up. So she, calmly on the outside but really concerned on the inside, put on some jeans and a black shirt. After all, it was just dinner with Harry... _only _Harry, she forced herself to think.

As she was locking the door to go out she froze. "What am I going to do if it's really him? Am I going to freak out? I can't freak out!", she said loudly, suddenly aware that she _kind of knew_ he was there. So what was she going to do? But what if it was not him? Would she sound disappointed? And with all these questions on her mind, she went on to Grimmauld place.

Hermione got to the last step in front of Harry's door and stopped. She was thinking about Professor Trelawney. She never believed in Divination or in anything related to that. But she couldn't help but think that thinking about Sirius and coming to Harry's to see a "surprise-person" was a little odd. Hermione was a little hopeful. Harry would get a small part of his family back if it was really Sirius who had returned. And she would get that safety feeling she always had when he was around, back.

So she stood there, thinking. And she heard the door knob turning. And with almost a jump of surprise, she saw Harry opening the door. He looked handsome, as always, but there was something different about him. The way he was dressed, the way he looked at her. It was like they were almost strangers.

"Hermione! I was beginning to think you weren't going to come! Come here...", and with that, Harry pulled her in a hug. And Hermione felt like she was seventeen again. She felt like they were hugging goodbye after the war was over and she was going to meet her parents, but returning two weeks later. She hugged him so closely he might feel her heart beating fast. And he did. Harry was feeling exactly the same way as she was. It was a enormous relief to see Hermione safe, beautiful and glowing like she was.

"Come in! I have to show you my surprise... I think you will like it.", and with that he took her by the hand and into the kitchen. In the way, she was looking at the house. "Harry, what have you done here? The house is so much more... comfortable!", she said honestly. "I had a lot of time to clean up... I had a vacation this year, you know. You should have one too!"

Hermione was starting to think about whether she should feel offended about what Harry just said, when she entered the kitchen. There he was, the man she was thinking about, the man that had driven her crazy with so many questions, the man that had been gone for twelve years... There he was, Sirius. As Hermione saw him, she lost her breath. Not only because it _was _Sirius, but also because he looked exactly like he looked when he fell into that veil. He looked thirty five. He look gorgeous. And he was looking at her.

As Hermione stood frozen, Sirius was hit by what he saw. It was a woman, a fully grown woman. A beautiful woman. His jaw dropped as he noticed her curly hair falling in her shoulders, the perfect curve that shirt insinuated, the perfect fit that jeans had in her. And he stopped thinking. No, he wasn't going to let his bloody man eyes undress her. He looked into her light brown eyes and saw they were stunned.

"Wow, are you so sad to see me that you won't even give me a hug?", Hermione heard Sirius say, waking up suddenly. She looked in his eyes and saw that he was real, he was really there. And she ran and gave him a hug, one of the best hugs she had ever given someone.


	3. Chapter 3

_(Hey, you're not reviewing anymore... Is the story getting boring? Tell me, please! I want to get better at this. So, please, tell me what you think. Thank you, Ju :D)_

Hermione didn't want to let go of Sirius. His smell, his clothes, everything felt like home. But, eventually they had to, she thought.

"God, how did this happen?", Hermione said, letting go of him. "When did you get back? How are you feeling? What have you been doing?"

"Too much questions, dear... we'll talk everything through over dinner.", he said, cutting her out.

Hermione started setting the table as Harry watched the spoons in the oven finish the dinner. They sat down, Harry started to talk.

"How is everything going at the Department, Hermione?", he said, trying to sound casual.

"It's fine but, frankly, I don't want to talk about work!". She didn't remember being so curious like she was now.

"So, what do you want to know first?", Sirius said with a smirk on his face. "We'll tell you everything."

"Good! So, how did you get back?"

"I honestly don't know...", he said and as he saw her angry look, he added quickly, "But I'll tell you what I remember..."

"I don't remember anything from inside the veil.", he continued with a focused look, "I just remember falling there. Then, I remember waking up in my bed feeling all soared and tired. I think Harry can explain how I got here."

"I don't know exactly, Sirius, I have already told you. I was getting a cup of tea in the kitchen before going to bed, I heard a noise in the living room and when I got there, it was you."

"But, you didn't hear what kind of noise it was?", Hermione said, anxiously.

"It wasn't an apparating noise. I can't quite explain how it was. It was a dropping noise, which I believe it happened when he fell, mixed with some other noise I can't quite figure out."

"That's weird... How was he when he fell?", Hermione said and when she saw the "why do you want to know? I'm ok! " look on Sirius face, she added, "I want to know!". Harry laughed as he said, "He was looking pretty beaten... He looked like he hadn't slept in days, maybe months. He was unconscious in his bed for a month but when he woke up, he was a little weak, but the same old Sirius."

"How long did this happen?", she asked with a suspicious voice.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you... It was just too emotional for me... It was-"

"How long, Harry?", she said, now sounding alarmed.

"It's been six months."

"WHAT?? Sirius was back six months ago and nobody told me? Nobody even owled me to let me know?", she was getting pretty upset now.

"But he was unconscious for a month, then it was, like, three months to get him feeling completely well... I'm really sorry, Hermio-", and Harry was interrupted by Sirius.

"Hermione, don't get so upset. It was my fault... And you're here now, it's ok.", he said, with a soothing voice, trying to calm her down.

"But I... I wanted to be here sooner. I... I... You must have thought I didn't care... HARRY, WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME?", now she was upset _and_ emotional.

"I'm really sorry, Hermione. But you seemed to be so busy with work and with your own life... I thought I should wait until Sirius got well enough and then tell you.", Harry said in an apologizing voice.

"I... I... I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier, Sirius."

"It's ok, love... Harry told me how much you are working. Aren't you working too much?"

"No, I don't think so... Actually, I was thinking about getting a little more assignments from my boss. I can use a little more distraction."

"But now you have me! I can't do anything too good yet...", Sirius said with a disappointed face, "The doctors at St. Mungo's don't want me to live yet!"

"But why? They think there's something wrong with you?", Hermione said, still blushing from the first thing he said.

"That's the thing... They don't know if I'm completely all right. I feel great, but they just won't let me go!"

"It's better than being in Azkaban, isn't it?", she said, smiling.

"Of course it is better! I can go out, at least."

"Yeah, he has been going out... _a lot!"_, Harry said, winking at Sirius. "He's been really catching up with everyone... I mean_, everyone"_

"What do you mean? I don't-", but she got it. As she was blushing, she looked at Sirius and saw he looking down, not looking very proud of his doings.

"No, Harry, I will do the dishes today...", Sirius said aggressively taking the plate from Harry's hand and giving him an angry face. He picked up the dishes and went to the sink, as Hermione and Harry went to the living room, still having wine.

"So... Sirius has been dating someone?", Hermione said trying to sound casual. She didn't know why she wanted so bad to know if Sirius was dating, but she felt a pinch of jealousy when Harry answered, "Not really dating someone, actually. He's been dating around, you know? I can't really blame him... It's been twelve years since he went out with someone."

"Yeah, he should enjoy it...", she said, not totally sure she convinced Harry with her tone, "So, what about you? Have you been dating?"

"Well, you know...", Harry answered and, seeing the interrogative face Hermione had, he added, "I went out a couple of times with girls from work..."

"But Harry, it's been a lot of time since you and Ginny", and she stopped, looking at him. As he didn't look upset, she continued, "It's been a lot of time since you and Ginny broke up. You've only been out with a couple of girls?"

"I've been busy at work, you know! I don't have time to date a lot of girls!"

"Oh, I see you're still talking about dating...", Sirius said, as he entered the room. "I also told Harry he should date more, but she just won't listen to me!"

"That's right, Harry. You should date more. You're young, you're handsome... you can't just sit here!", Hermione said. She was shocked that had been over five years since he and Ginny broke up and he only dated a couple of girls.

"Yeah, maybe. But now it's not the time for me to look for girls, right?", Harry said in a sarcastic voice.

So they talked a lot, about a lot of things. Hermione discovered that everyone knew that Sirius was back. But, as they only took him to the Ministry a few weeks ago, they couldn't talk much about him. When she asked about Remus, they said he was living there too with Harry, and now with Sirius, but it was the full moon so he was away. When she finally looked at her watch and saw that it was almost midnight, she got up to leave.

"No, Hermione, it's too late. Can't you sleep here? We have plenty of spare rooms...", Harry said, trying to convince her.

"Well, I guess I could stay... Tomorrow is sunday, anyway, and I'm really tired. Do you mind if I stay, Sirius?"

"No no no, not at all!", he noticed he sounded a little excited so he calmed himself down. "I mean, it won't bother me. It will be good to have a woman waking up in the house. It's hard to wake up and seeing only men here!"

"Your women don't usually stay the night, huh?", Hermione said, feeling that she could be a little bold.

"I'm shocked you would say that... But, yeah, pretty much...", Sirius said, enjoying the fact that she could talk about this kind of things and not _always_ be blushed.

"So, as that's decided, you can take the room in front of Sirius'. We don't have any women's clothes for you to change...", Harry said.

"That's ok. I don't mind sleeping in my clothes."

"You two have a good night. I'm really tired... so, I'm off to bed!", Harry said, already climbing up the stairs. Hermione and Sirius said goodnight and as she was heading to the stairs, Sirius called. "I'm going to get a cup of tea, do you want some?"

"Sure", she said casually as she entered the kitchen following him. As much as she wanted to go to bed and think about everything she heard and what did it mean, she was tempted by _that _cup of tea.

"So, what about you, Hermione? Are you dating anyone?", Sirius asked, putting the tea bags on the cups. He didn't know exactly why, but he held his breath.

"Not in the moment. I'm really busy at work so...", she kind of lied. She really wasn't dating anyone, but that didn't stop her from going out a lot. And sleeping with guys, of course. But she didn't have to mention that, she thought. To that, Sirius only made a false-pity face and Hermione laughed. They made a little more small talk and went up the stairs to their bedrooms.

"Good night, Hermione.", Sirius said, kissing her cheek. "It was really nice seeing you again."

"Good night to you too. And, yeah, it _was_ really nice seeing you." And with that, she left him in the middle of the hallway, perfectly aware that he was watching her ass as she entered her bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

_(I think I'm getting the chapters quickly enough, right? I'm not absolutely sure about this one but I guess I'll have to wait and see the reviews (should they come). Well, I'm writing the chapters with all my heart! I hope you like it and, if you don't, please tell me what you didn't like... that's really important. Also, tell me what you'd like to see in the story... I'd like to know what you think is cool and what's not... So, please review and let me know!! Thanks, Ju :D)_

Hermione's eyes were closed. She was thinking about how good it was to wake up and don't feel her head throbbing. Of course she had a little wine, but nothing compared to the amount she usually had. Maybe it was time to stop the partying and drinking every night. It felt so good to wake up and not have her mouth dried like she just ate a handful of sand. And it felt so good to be in that bed. She wasn't really recognizing the bed. So she opened her eyes and looked around. It was her old room on Grimmauld Place, the room she used to sleep in almost every summer. She wanted to go back to sleep but her jeans were to uncomfortable now and she saw that it was already late in the morning.

As she passed the hallway, she saw Sirius' and Harry's rooms empty. She went to the kitchen and saw Sirius cooking. He was with his back to the door and Hermione just stood there, staring at his sleeveless arms and fitted pants. Suddenly, she realized who was she staring at.

"Good morning", she said, trying to hide her impressed look.

"Hey, good morning. I didn't even see you walking down the stairs. Did you sleep well, love?"

"Yeah, I did. I forgot how comfortable that bed was.", Hermione said, making him smile.

"So, Harry had an emergency in the Ministry but he said he'll be back by dinner. Do you want some toasts?", Sirius said and noticing the look on her face, he added quickly, "It is the best I can do! I'm not a real cook, you know..."

"Yeah, I can see that...", she said, looking at his plate and seeing a burned egg he apparently tried to make, "Toasts would be great." He made her toast and watched her eat. He was thinking about how could a clumsy, bushy haired, geeky girl become a beautiful, attractive and smart-looking woman. He was also thinking about how _full_ she was, how _round_ her hips were and-

"Hello... Sirius... What are you looking at?" she said, trying not to sound as uncomfortable as she was.

"What? What happened? Were you talking to me?", Sirius said, trying not to babble too much.

"You were staring at me...", Hermione said, laughing loudly. It just seemed so foolish now that it was coming out of her mouth. "I've been talking to you for ages and you didn't even noticed it." she said, still laughing hard.

"I was distracted! What are you laughing at? It's not _that_ funny!", he said, starting to laugh as well.

"I know it's not... I just couldn't stop myself! I'm sorry.", she said finally, holding her laugh. "So...", she said, wiping some tears off her face, "What are you planning of doing today?"

"I have no idea... These days I've been having no idea of what to do with myself. I really need to get a job or something!"

"I don't think I can entertain you today...", as she realized what she just said, she blushed, "I guess I got to go home and work a bit...". Sirius, noticing her blushing, said "Come on! We haven't seen each other for twelve years and you can't even take a day - a sunday! - off to hang out with me?" and finished with a pitiable look on his face.

"I'm sorry, Sirius! Technically, I've already took yesterday off and couldn't proba-"

"Yesterday was a saturday! Weekends doesn't count!", Sirius said, cutting her off. "And, besides, when was the last time you took some days off?"

"I... I never had a vacation.", and seeing his disapproving look, she continued, "I never felt like it! I never needed one!"

"Oh Lord, you're really something, aren't you?", he said, not even bothering to disguise his admiring look. "Ok, let's just do this.", he continued, coming to himself, "I'll go with you to your house and I'll hang out there while you work. What do you say?"

"But... But I'll never be able to concentrate with _you_ there!"

"Better! If you really _can't_ concentrate, then we can do something else!", he said, getting excited just with the prospect of doing something different than laying around in the house all day.

Under Hermione's not-so-strong protests, Sirius changed and they went to her apartment. As she was taking a shower, Sirius was looking around. He noticed how messy her living room was. It was full of books, papers and quills laying around, but it had Hermione's taste all over it. He didn't exactly know much about her, but he noticed the soft colors and the discreet furniture that looked just like the Hermione he knew twelve years ago. At least something is the same, he thought. He also noticed a board hanging on the wall with moving pictures pinned on it. As he came closer, he saw a picture of her, Harry and Ron together. They looked so happy and he saw that, by the looks of the picture, it was taken just before he fall into the veil. He felt guilty that, maybe, he took some of that happiness of Harry's face. Sirius decided that, since he was back and all was well, he should move on to the other pictures. And then, he came across a picture of him. It was probably taken when he was in his twenties... he felt a strange hope inside of him, just like, because of that picture and because of who kept it, everything would be fine. Then, he looked at the couch and saw what looked like a tie hanging in the arm of it. It looked like it was just tossed there. He was coming closer when Hermione got out, fully dressed, from her bedroom.

"Snooping around much?", Hermione said, making him jump.

"Huh? No no... Just taking a look. Nice pictures you have here. You kept my picture all this time..."

"Yeah, I just... After I kind of distanced myself from everybody, I promised myself I would keep a picture of every single people, in a place where it would be always visible to me, to keep me focused. And it's been working.", she replied, the knot on her throat starting to close; she was going to cry very soon if then didn't change the subject. Apparently noticing that, he said, "So, what are you planning on working on today? Can I help?", as Hermione replied, "I don't know if you can help... Are you good with math?", she said, reminding herself that she had all that calculation she had to do for a report and had been postponing it for ages. She was slightly better with words than with numbers.

"Actually, yes, I am pretty good at math... What do you want me to do?", so she gave him the papers and started working on something herself. She was really impressed that he really wanted to to all that calculations to help her.

The doorbell rang and Hermione open the door to see Ginny with a bunch of books in her arms.

"Hey, Hermione, can I come in? I wanted to clear some doubts about ancient runes and I know you're pretty good at it.", Ginny said, smiling broadly.

"Hum, yeah, I guess you could come in...", and she looked back at Sirius. She was _subconsciously_ appreciating the fact that she was going to be alone with him. So when Ginny came in and Sirius saw her, he jumped to greet her. "Hey, Ginny, how have you been?", he said, hugging her. "I've only seen you once since I came back, haven't I?"

"Yes, you have. And I wanted to spend more time with you. But, what are you doing here?", she asked, raising an eyebrow to Hermione. They told the dinner story and Hermione begun to explain the ancient runes to her. After Hermione was done, Sirius asked Ginny, trying to seem casual, "So, Ginny, I don't mean to be rude or noisy or anything, but... Harry told me you two dated and he also told me that you broke up. He refused to tell me why was that, but he seemed so deep in thoughts that I just didn't want to push it. Can you, please, tell me why? Since I've come back, I'm trying to gather as much information about Harry as I can." Ginny made a displeased face and seemed to ponder the question for a second. Then, she looked at Sirius, deep in his eyes and said:

"Sirius, I'm really not at all comfortable talking about it. I haven't talked about it since it happened and I didn't planned on talking about it this soon.", she said and a look of desolation came to Sirius face. "But...", and his face cleared again, "Since you've been gone for so many time and I think you have every right to know as much as you can about Harry, I'll tell you.", she stopped, looking at Hermione. Hermione was astonished by what Ginny said. They had been friends for so many time and Ginny didn't even mentioned it... not even once. But she put on a straight face. The most normal she could.

"Well, the reason why Harry and I broke up was because I cheated on him.", she said, almost naturally. Sirius and Hermione looked at her with a disbelief look, but didn't say anything. She continued, "I was the one that told him and, even though he was mad, he was perfectly fine with us moving on, together. He was willing to forgive me. But I just couldn't... I couldn't live with that guilt. I knew I did something really wrong. I knew I did something Harry never deserved. So I just wanted to broke it off." There was a thick silence as Hermione and Sirius were thinking about something to say.

"But, Ginny, you could have talked to me. It must have been terrible for you, and for Harry as well, to not talk about that with anyone. Why didn't you ever mentioned it?", Hermione finally gathered enough breath to talk.

"I wasn't exactly proud of what I did, was I? I don't know about Harry but I didn't exactly want everybody to know.", Ginny finished her point with an exasperated look. "Sirius, you brought it up... Aren't you going to say something? I understand if you are upset with me..."

"No, Ginny, I'm just... That's just the most silly thing I've ever heard! Didn't you love him?", he asked, as she replied, "Of course I did! I just couldn't do-", she was cut off by Sirius, "But, don't you understand? You made him miserable all this time! Not because you cheated on him, but because he wanted you back and you blew him off!"

"It's not that simple! I did something terrible! He never would be able to forgive me completely... He would never forget! I couldn't live with it!", Ginny replied, getting tears in her eyes. Sirius was getting exalted, "Oh, but he could live with the fact that he lost the love of his life? That's so selfish, Ginny! You should have given him the chance to forgive _and_ forget! I can't belie-"

"Shut up! Just shut up! You don't understand! You can't talk like that... You can't!", Ginny yelled and stormed off the door, sobbing loudly. Hermione and Sirius were just staring at it, like it was something they've never seen before. "I think I got to far... I have to go talk to her... I have to.", Sirius said, a bit disoriented as he realized how he must have hurt her. "No, Sirius. Let her be... You were too tough on her, but she'll understand it eventually. You are Harry's godfather... You want to protect him."

"Oh Lord, I'm an asshole, aren't I?", he said, with weak grin on his face. "Yeah, you are. But that's ok, I guess. You got a little out of control, that's all.", Hermione said and looked at him with a caring look. She really thought he was an asshole for what he said to Ginny, but she knew his reasons. "Ok, now, if you're not _too_ distracted, get back to your calculus... Everything will sort itself out eventually. Let Ginny think about all the things that were said today. It might be good for her." and, with that, she got back to her papers, even though she couldn't concentrate at all.

The night was coming and Sirius got up to go home. As he was getting his coat, he asked Hermione if she didn't want to go to Grimmauld Place and have dinner with him and Harry. "Oh, I'd really love to but I'd better stay home and finish my report... I know! I know you think I should relax but now I really can't!". Sirius was still complaining as he reached for the door knob. He turned around and gave a goodbye kiss on Hermione's cheek. After that, they were staring at each other, their noses two inches apart. Sirius, against what he thought was his better judgment, leaned forward and touched his lips on hers. As Hermione felt that soft lips against her, everything came to her as a flood: Ginny, Harry, the fact that Sirius was his godfather... And she pulled away. She was looking at his dark, deep eyes as he was carrying a question look in his face. Finally, he came closer to Hermione and whispered, still holding the door knob:

"Are you afraid, love?", Hermione sunk deep in her thoughts as Sirius was waiting for her to reply.


	5. Chapter 5

_(I really don't know about this chapter... The school is back here in Brazil so I'm not having as much time as I wanted to. :// Why did you stop reviewing?? I don't know what to do if you're not reviewing! hahahaha Well, please take the time to tell me what you think. Whether you think it's bad or good. Thanks for now. Ju :D)_

Hermione was rolling in bed and couldn't sleep. Everything that happened in the last twenty four hours was haunting her. All the things she heard Ginny say had shocked her, everything Sirius said... it was all tormenting her.

"Are you afraid, love?", Hermione sunk deep in her thoughts as Sirius was waiting for her to reply. She looked down and didn't know exactly what to say. He pulled her chin up as she said, "Yeah, I am.", looking deep into those dark eyes.

"What are you afraid of?", Sirius' heart sunk as he saw tears forming in her eyes. "Tell me, Hermione... Please."

"I... I don't know. I guess I'm afraid of everything." Hermione said, restraining herself not to cry. She was lacking of things to say. And that was very rare.

"What do you mean, you don't know?", he was confused. It was impossible that she didn't have _anything _to say. "You're _Hermione_! You must have something to say!"

"Yeah, I think it's really weird too." she said, giving him a smile. "Sirius... You're Harry's godfather! I can't do that to him!"

"Do what?!" After he said it, he thought of something: "Are you dating him or something?", he was scared of the answer he would get.

"No, of course not! It's not that. I... I really don't know..." and she blushed as she saw how disappointed he appeared to be that she didn't have a proper answer.

"Well, can I, at least, ask you something?", he thought it would be better to get that over with. As she nodded, he said, "Are you interested in me?" and as he noticed that she, suddenly, wasn't very comfortable, he added, "Be honest with me."

"I... Sirius! That's not something you just ask!"

"It's pretty simple, actually. Just answer me: yes or no." he said, sarcastically.

"Ok. You really want me to say it?" he nodded and she continued, "Yes... Yes, I am interested in you" and before he could say something, she said, "What about you? Do you like me?" after she said it, she realized how much she sounded like a teenager.

"Yes, Hermione. I like you." he replied, laughing loudly. "So, that's settled. I like you, you like me."

"It's not that simple, Sirius..."

"I know... I know it must be weird for you. It's weird for me to have these feelings as well...", Sirius said. He was trying to express himself without seeming too sentimental. He found it was very hard to do that. When he saw her doubtful face, he added, "I'm not going to force you into anything. If you want me to go now and not say another word, I'll go. But, please - _please_ - promise me you'll think about this. Putting all thought of Harry aside, as difficult as it may be."

"I think it's better if we stop now. I don't want to do anything I might regret later.", she wanted him to stay _so much. _But she couldn't, she thought. Harry was one of the only things that was left for her and she couldn't hurt him. Seeing his disappointed face, she added, trying not to sound too desperate, "Try to understand me. You must be thinking about what Harry would say, too. I promise I will think about _this_..." she said pointing to herself and then to him.

"Ok, then. I won't say another word... I'm going away now. I'll leave you alone.", he said, smiling broadly. She promised to think about it... It was _something_. He kissed her forehead and left, leaving Hermione looking at the closed door. She was happy. But it was a different kind of happiness: she was _satisfied _with herself. It's been a while since she didn't feel that way. _He_ was different to her.

She thought it would be best for her not to bother Ginny. She couldn't even imagine what it must be like to say all those things and hear all Sirius said back to her. Not that he was wrong. Ginny could have spared Harry from having that horrible time. They were still in love with each other, he would forgive her. Hermione was sure that Harry already had forgiven Ginny. What he didn't forgive was the fact that she left him, after he promised he would forget all about what happened. Hermione turned his thoughts back to Sirius. She wanted him, that was the fact. She never wanted so bad for someone to stay in her apartment. But then, there was Harry... But it was better not to think about that now, she thought. Hermione's thoughts came back to Sirius and she, finally, fell asleep.

Sirius was sitting in his bed, unable to sleep. He was regretting every single word he said to Hermione. It wasn't the right time... He didn't even wait to flirt a little more with her and give her the opportunity to flirt back. It was all new to him. He never opened up about his feelings this quickly with any woman before. And there was the Harry thing too. Sirius was shocked he didn't even think about Harry. All he could think about before while saying all those things to her was 'Please, don't turn me down!". He never got really upset when a woman turned him down (which wasn't often) but he felt like he was going to be very upset if Hermione said no. He wanted her, even though she was his godson's long time friend. And he knew, he just _knew_, she felt a little like that too. He saw it in her eyes when she said she was interested in him. Hermione wasn't just interested in him, she _wanted_ him, Sirius was thinking to himself. And he was right.

Ginny cried for about an hour after she left Hermione's apartment. She knew everything Sirius said was true but she didn't exactly want to hear it. After she stopped crying, she decided she wasn't going to take everything Sirius said personally. He was Harry's godfather, she couldn't expect anything less from him. Ginny just wanted to go back in time and not say anything about her and Harry. She was happy enough without bringing it all up and now, everything came back to her in a flood. She wanted to talk to Hermione but she didn't know if Sirius was still with her. Even though Ginny decided she wasn't going to be _too _mad at Sirius, she didn't want to talk to him yet. And... were Hermione and Sirius having an affair? She didn't have time to think about what Sirius was doing at Hermione's apartment since she left there, but it was strange. She smiled when she thought of the prospect of them getting together. It wasn't going to happen. Not when they were two of the most _party people_ Ginny ever knew. But, Ginny said to herself grinning, stranger things had happened.


	6. Chapter 6

_(Hey, everybody! I'm kind of excited about this chapter... I was inspired when I wrote it. I hope you tell me what you think about it, so please review! Oh, and thanks to the reviews on the last chapter. The best part, for me, of writing this is knowing what you think. So (at the risk of sounding redundant) please, review! Thanks, Ju :D)_

Hermione was working like always. Well, not exactly. She asked her boss to give her extra work and he was very pleased to do so. The department was short on staff and he was looking for a way out. Hermione, who usually worked on about three reports at a time, was _beginning _her sixth one and it wasn't even noon. She was doing several reports at once so it was all shuffled in her head. She was feeling kind of dizzy but she shook it off as she remember the amount of work she had asked for. She continued on her work - although her mind was far away - and as the clock showed one pm, she got up of her chair to go to lunch. She felt a really weird dizziness, harder than before. She was thinking she must have gotten up too fast so she went on and ate her lunch. She sat down at the coffee shop, at the corner of the Ministry's phone booth and ordered her sandwich. She looked out the window and saw Harry passing by, as she yelled.

"Hey, Harry!", excited for she hadn't seen him in a while at the Ministry.

"Hermione, hi! How are you? I haven't talked to you since saturday.", Harry said. He was excited as well. He felt like he _had _to get Hermione's friendship back. It was all coming to place for him. First Sirius, than Hermione. The only thing he thought he couldn't be able to solve was the Hermione-Ron situation. It was too complicated for him to butt in.

They were talking like _normal _friends again, Hermione thought. She missed talking to Harry so much. It was probably the thing she missed the most about the past. But now, almost everything could go back to what it was. They talked about the Ministry, gossiped about their bosses and, when it was time for Hermione to go back to her work, Harry said, with a sort of dark voice:

"Aren't you working too much? I was talking to Roberts and he said you asked him for more work... You already had loads!"

"No, I didn't!", Hermione lied. There was no need to make Harry worried. "I'm fine with the amount of work I have. It's not like I have lots of things to do, besides work, anyway." Under his protests, Hermione got up and felt the hard dizziness again. Now she could _feel _there was something wrong. She groped at the back of the chair, as Harry grabbed her arm. He had an alarmed look in his face.

"What happened? What are you feeling?", he said, holding himself not to seem too scared.

"It's... It's nothing..." she said and as she saw a doubtful look on his face, she added, "Really! I'm fine... I just got up too fast, I think." She continued to make excuses as she released herself from him, said goodbye and was already out the door. As Hermione entered the Ministry, she remembered she didn't get to eat her sandwich. She was so caught up on her conversation with Harry that she completely forgot.

Hermione continued her work, not feeling too well all afternoon. She got to the part where she had to walk almost the whole Ministry to get that reports done. She looked at her wrist watch and saw it was almost four-thirty. It was only half-hour until she could go home and get some rest. At least until the next day. But she wasn't finished with the day's work. It would pile up until she got the time to finish it. She could take weeks to finish it. It would take up all of her time... She couldn't go to Grimmauld Place because she would be working. She wouldn't see Sirius... She wouldn't see Harry. She was walking fast - almost running - through a hallway when suddenly her eyes stopped seeing the regular Ministry's hallway to see a completely blurred hallway. She supported herself at the wall as everything was darkening. She saw a mass of red hair and she forced herself to see a little clearer. It was Ron... He was holding her and saying her name but she couldn't reply. She was trying to make the words come out of her mouth as she blacked out.

The moment Harry heard the words "Hermione" and "black out" on the same sentence, he went to St. Mungo's. He found Ron sitting at the waiting room, looking impatient. As Ron said, the doctors told him Hermione was fine but they wouldn't give him any more information. Ron was heading to the reception to owl the Ministry when he heard Harry yell:

"Owl Sirius too! He would want to be here". Ron did and in less than ten minutes, Sirius - and Ginny - were there. He was frantic and she was kind of petrified. After Ron told him everything he knew, Sirius started running up to every doctor he found to ask. Finally, he found one that could help him.

"Miss Granger is fine. She suffered an exhaustion collapse but she will be fine.", Dr. Prector said and interrupting Sirius' complaints, he added "No, you can't see her yet, Mr. Black. She's still unconscious. The stress really built up on her. As soon as she wakes up, I'll let you guys see her." and the doctor turned his back and went away.

The three men were walking from one end of the waiting room to the other. They bumped at each other constantly which helped them keep in mind they weren't alone. After two hours of anxious waiting, the doctor finally came out:

"She's probably close to wake up. It still might take some time but you can see her, only one at a time.", the doctor said. They looked at each other, wondering who would be the first to see her.

Hermione suddenly felt her head feeling like it was going to explode. Then, she felt the soft sheets and pillow and didn't realize where she was. She slowly opened her eyes to see a man looking right at her. He had a kind smile, short beard and... shoulder-length hair. Hermione took a couple of seconds more than usual to identify the man. When she realized it was Sirius, she was able to open her eyes completely. Normally, it would be Harry or Ron that would see her first, but they thought it would be better for Sirius to see her because he was neutral to her. She wouldn't be excited nor upset if she saw Sirius first. That's what _they _thought. Once Hermione recognized the face that was staring down at her, she felt her heart racing. It felt like weeks since they had that _moment _but it has only been two days. She felt her cheeks blushing but she couldn't take her eyes off his. Finally, he broke the silence, "So, Sleeping Beauty, you decided to wake up, huh? Did you have a good nap?", he was almost laughing with a weird excitement. "You thought you could get some days off work if you pulled _this little act _off, didn't you?"

"You got me! That was exactly what I was thinking when I blacked out on the Ministry's hallway..." she said, trying to be playful. Sirius thought about how weak she sounded like. "By the way, why did I black out?"

"You collapsed... You were too stressed out and you just broke out. I told you! You shouldn't had asked for that amount of work!"

"Oh, shut up! I'm fine now!" Hermione said, feeling a little better just by realizing he seemed to be concerned. After they joked around a bit more, Harry and Ron entered the room to see her. It was awkward between her and Ron, but the fact that he was there to catch her when she fell made things a little lighter.

The next day, Hermione went home but she had to be in bed rest. And she was hating it. She didn't feel completely perfect but that didn't mean she couldn't do things like go watch TV on the living room or _go to work. _That last part, she reminded herself, was forbidden for now. The Ministry forced her to take a full vacation. All this time she had piled up was coming handy now. Not for Hermione, though.

The doctor recommended someone to sleep with her in the first days. As her whole body was aching from the exhaustion, someone would have to give her food and water. Ginny, Harry and even Ron volunteered but, as Hermione pointed out incessantly, they had to work really early the next morning. So Sirius said he would do it. Harry and Ron didn't see anything unusual in Sirius "services" but Ginny did. She saw the glimpse of spark on Hermione's eyes when Sirius said he would be up for it. It was quick, but she saw it. It was eleven o'clock and everyone was leaving. Hermione said goodbye and picked up a book. She was in the middle of the third page when Sirius entered the bedroom.

"Hmm... Do you need something?" as she nodded negatively, he continued "No? Anything?"

"No, thanks Sirius. I'll probably fall asleep soon. I'm just starting this new book."

"Ok, then. I'll... I'll set up the couch for me, then." Sirius said. He wanted to talk to her but, probably, she really was going to go to sleep.

Hermione thought for a second. Her couch was terrible! Sirius was being all solicitous and she was letting him sleep in a shitty couch? But what could she do? She didn't have any mattress left for him to sleep. Well, she thought for a moment, what's the worst thing that could happen if...

"Sirius, hey, Sirius!" she yelled as he was in the living room. "I... I... I was thinking... That couch is really bad! I... Wouldn't you..." she was _really_ stuttering now.

"That's ok! I've slept in worst places before, I don't mind..." Sirius said and as he realized what she probably would have proposed to him, he regretted cutting her off instantly.

"I... I thought you..." and seeing his encouraging face, she took a deep breath and continued "You could sleep here. If you don't mind, I mean."

"Well, I... I don't mind, I guess... Don't _you_ mind?" he said, hoping with all his strength that she wouldn't back out.

"No, I don't mind. I would feel really bad if you had to sleep in that bumpy couch.", Hermione said. She didn't know if she was going to regret that but she didn't really mind. She put her book away and sunk in her sheets. Sirius did the same and they were staring at the ceiling for a couple of minutes. Then, finally, Sirius said: "I don't know if I'll be able to sleep...", he didn't know what exactly he was saying.

"Why not? Is the bed too hard? I was thinking about that these days..." Hermione said. Maybe it wasn't exactly the best idea for her to invite him to sleep on her bed. "No, it's not that. It's just... Hmm... _You _are lying by my side.", Sirius was not sure what she was going to do next. Maybe she would kick him out... Maybe she would say it back. Hermione looked at him, turning at the bed. He was so handsome, she thought. And she could feel the warmth of his body coming from him. She didn't know what to say, except for "I know how you feel."

Sirius also turned in the bed, facing her. He looked at her deep brown eyes and was out of words. He didn't know what move to make now. And it wasn't something that happened to him often. He _always _had something cute to say to a girl. But, of course, this wasn't _any _girl. Sirius wasn't thinking straight when he started to move forward. His big, warm hands hold Hermione's right cheek and she felt a chill come down her spine. He was moving closer and closer. She put her hand on his arm, anxiously hoping to know if he would really kiss her.

Sirius leaned closer to Hermione and touched his lips against hers. He was waiting for her to pull away. As she didn't, he kissed her. Hermione moved her body closer to his until there was barely a few inches apart from them. When Sirius felt the touch of her body in his, he deepened the kiss.


End file.
